Wonder

I'm trying something new this morning.  My daughter follows a blog that does this "Five Minute Friday" thing, which has intrigued the heck out of me.  I'm gonna give it a whirl...

The premise...write for 5 minutes about the "given" topic.  No worries of editing, syntax, etc.  Just type...

This Friday it's WONDER

Here goes...

I wonder what their thoughts are this morning, this morning after the arrival of their new baby girl.  I wonder what the neighbors in the upstairs apartment must have thought, listening to primal groans, and grunts as She pushed her baby out in her bathtub, in those usually quiet, still wee morning hours.  I wonder what goes through the thoughts of a newborn after that incredible journey.  I often think about those newborns and I wonder...what must they be thinking, feeling, etc right now.  Do they have thoughts?  Do they process what just happened?   It's quite a change from what they are used to, isn't it?  I wonder if people get it, how wonderful and awesome birth is, how it truly is the space between heaven and earth.  I wonder if folks understand that I get to see the most spiritual of moments, and how that affects me?  It is WONDEROUS, what I get to do; greet these new babies, touch their little bodies, bless them, smell them, love them.  I am blessed.

And now my 5 minutes are up.  That was quick.

Sleeping with someone else...

Last night I slept with a young married couple.  Well, slept isn't exactly what I did, but I was in a large king sized bed with another man and his wife!  Hee Hee... At a birth...

This mom was so wracked with fear of "What If", that she could barely function.  EVERYTHING was a potential problem and I mean EVERYTHING!

I knew I was going to have to work hard with this one from the first time I met her.  Picture a highly educated, well read, professional woman from Chicago, she wants the lo-down skinny about every little thing going on in her pregnancy, wants to know every lo-down skinny about you and your life as well, (seriously!  It was quite funny, but that's another story).  She has a very competitive nature and was really interested in the birth outcomes and stats of her Bradley Class peers.  (Who had the quickest birth, who had the best support person, who was breastfeeding, who was a screamer and who was a silent birther, etc. etc.)  I swear she'd read every single book published on pregnancy, natural childbirth, and breastfeeding.  She had it ALL figured out and knew exactly what to expect and how she would deal with it.   She had her Early Labor regimen planned; she and Darling Hubby would leisurely stroll with their two Golden Retrievers along the Spokane River, enjoying the late afternoon sun.  They'd laugh and kiss and be filled with excitement for the arrival of their little girl.  Afterwards, when they returned to their condo, they'd have a celebratory glass of champagne and snuggle onto the couch to watch old movies, still waiting patiently for labor to progress...

Uh Oh!

Now enter..."Curve Ball"...

"Be Humbled"

I'm not sure how to blog this.  I want to wax poetic and wane wistful, but this is too low down and gritty for that.

I don't want to go into "The Back Story" to set this up, but how do you measure the intensity of feeling, the bewilderment of actions without a bit of Back Story?  

I'll be brief.

Packing

Lists...
Stacks...
Check-offs...
Boarding Pass and itinerary...
Muttering...
Puttering...
What to bring, what to leave.
"Honey, don't forget to..."
"Where'd I put my ..."

You'd think I was leaving for a month instead of a week.  Sheesh!!!

Coupon Crazy

I want to be a coupon cutter, money saver.  All my friends are doing it.  And apparently with great success.  Free toothbrushes abound!  Bags and bags of groceries for little to nothing in cost.  So they say...

I went online to give myself a little tutorial about proper coupon etiquette.  I learned words like doublers & catalinas.  I read up on coupon policy by stores.  I was ready. I was excited.  I purchased my Sunday paper, anxiously got it home and prepared my place to begin the cutting!

But, my newspaper didn't have any manufacturer coupons in it.  What?!?!   I became instantly frustrated.  Called Oldest Daughter (who is a crazy coupon woman) and asked her, "What's up?  No coupons."  She didn't know.  She was no help, no balm to my angst.

I flung the newspaper aside and went downstairs to pout.

Next day -  I decide I'll go online and print off the manufacturer coupons I want and then I'll use my Alberstons doublers (just learned about those) and I'll save oodles of money.  Screw those who left the ads out of my paper! You can't keep a crazy couponer down!!

OMG!!! Do you know what a temper tantrum looks like before the first cup of coffee has been consumed?  It is not pretty, let me just say that.

I could not figure out why I couldn't print coupons.  I downloaded the software, and nothing. I uninstalled it and reloaded it again and again and again!  I'm not kidding. I did it a total of 3 times.  AND... still no printed coupons.  I changed the settings on my spyware and  firewall.  I rebooted. Three times.  Still nothing.

Then I had an "Ah-Ha" moment and decided to open the web pages in a different browser.  Walla...whattya know?  How stupid!!!  

Browsed coupons...there were only four I could use.  FOUR!  It's a whole $6.00 in savings.  No free toothbrushes, no bags and bags of groceries for little to nothing.   Geez.

After all that, I can barely work up the energy to go to the grocery store and use these coupons.  I think I'm not coupon crazy any longer.

Arduous

This birth was long, hard, drawn out, emotional, frustrating, agonizing, hopeful, and a whole bunch of other adjectives that my sleep deprived brain can't quite grasp. It was arduous.  We literally used every trick in the book to get this baby to come.  We tubbed, we squatted, we lunged, we sat on toilets, birth stools and birth balls.  We hula'd, we swayed, we walked. We did hands and knees, knees and chest and McRoberts.

The entire time, Mom stayed dilated at 9 cm!!  NINE cm. for many, many, many hours.  And as frustrating as all this, as heart wrenching as it is to watch a mama push for several hours and not bring her baby any closer to birth, it is absolutely NOTHING compared to watching her do it alone since her husband was 100% useless!

Hope

Trust your strength

pick more wildflowers

Surrender your FEAR

Find beauty in the small

Unleash your joy

Teach kindness

celebrate the gift of today

keep being brave