It was a very emotionally charged birth and it brought back a flood of memories for me. After the birth, I had to go to the kitchen (in the birth center) and have myself a little cry. Thankfully CB was with me (she's one of the other midwives). She just hugged me and let me sob for a bit.
If you know me, you know that I had a baby when I was 16. A baby girl who weighed 6 lb. 8 oz. A little baby girl that I thought was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. Kristen is 28 yrs. old now. I was surprised at how this current birth affected me after so many years have passed.
I want to share more about this birth and all that happened, but right now I really need to process it all. I've been up since Monday morning with only 4 hrs. sleep (as of yesterday at noon). I did sleep like the dead last night, but I still need time to compartmentalize all that took place. I promise I'll blog it...later.
I guess I can truthfully say that emotions, feelings, thoughts, The Past, never ever go away. Even if you've "dealt" with it. After 28 yrs. all it took was a trigger (and what a trigger!) to bring them all back to the forefront of your mind.
I need to chew on this for a bit. I need to pray. I need to find peace. I need to find quiet and safety and take time to deal. I may have to make a phone call or two. I think I need to have a conversation with my mother and father.
I know I need to call my Kristen and tell her how much I love her!
This is my little 6# 8oz baby girl the day after she was born.
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